Archive for the 'Kittehs' category

The Talmud on the Virtues of Robots and Cats

Aharon | November 30, 2009 7:19 pm

A few days ago Engadget blogged a story originally reported in the Israeli print media that a local family was surprised to discover that their Roomba had ingested a dangerous poisonous snake (Vipera palaestinae). (Within a few days, the story was echoed by Gizmodo, Boing Boing, and Jewschool.)

Vipera palaestina

In so far as Jewish lore goes, the virtues of alert domestic household guardians in disposing of wayward lizards was recognized as early as 350-371 CE in the Babylonian Talmud. The source below, Tractate Pesaḥim, Chapter 10, p112b, provides something of a utilitarian justification for the adoption of cats in this regard:

אמר רב פפא: ביתא דאית ביה שונרא לא ניעול בה איניש בלא מסני. מאי טעמא? משום דשונרא קטיל לחיויא ואכיל ליה — ואית ביה בחיויא גרמי קטיני ואי יתיב לה גרמא דחיויא אכרעיה לא נפיק ואסתכן ליה. איכא דאמרי: ביתא דלית ביה שונרא לא ניעול ביה איניש בהכרא. מאי טעמא? דילמא מיכריך ביה חויא ולא ידע ומסתכן

Rav Papa said: A man should not enter a house in which there is a cat, without shoes. What is the reason? Because the cat may kill a snake and eat it  — now the snake has little bones, and if a bone sticks into his foot it will not come out, and will endanger him. Others say: A man should not enter a house where there is no cat, in the dark [without shoes]. What is the reason? Lest a snake wind itself about him without his knowing, and he come to danger.

Given these concerns, we can only surmise that if Rav Papa were alive today, he might trust his Nehardean home and yeshiva to be free of tiny snake bones thanks to his own autonomous robotic vacuum cleaner, and unselfconsciously walk about in his socks, even in the dark, his tender soles secure. Over here at the Omphalos, we appreciate the common sense of Rav Papa’s colleagues; and we’re rather satisfied with the lap guarding capabilities of our resident felines, Dot, Ivan, and William. We do admit however that in battle with poisonous lizards, our cats would fare far more poorly than Rav Papa or his colleagues assume. If we lived in an area prone to viper attacks, a Roomba might save our cat’s lives as well as our own.

We will just need to remain vigilant. When in viper country we will wear shoes, as the Talmud recommends and wait patiently while DARPA struggles to model the feline brain. When DARPA ultimately succeeds we will upgrade the firmware of our vacuuming robots with the aggressive skills of 4th century Iraqi cats. But unapologetic sentimentalists, we will keep our warm blooded  companions and enjoy their current, if temporary, dominance over their vigilant snake wrestling (and dust fighting) competitors.

Kitteh Yoga

Aharon | November 18, 2008 12:06 pm

Kitteh Yoga: Exhale arch, Inhale stretch

Last night was my second night in two weeks of yoga with K. Clair and friends at her West Philly loft. I’m even starting to remember some poses for practicing during the rest of the week. But the hardest part, for me anyways, seems to be associating correctly each pose with either inhaling or exhaling — and then keeping aware of where my breathing is as I exercise each position. As a teaching and memory aid, I created the above image macro with the help of icanhascheesburger.

Much appreciation to Kristina and my other fellow Philly yoga friends for making this a fun and instructive part of my week.

UPDATE: Hilariously, I got my (in/ex)hales mixed up in my first attempt at this lolcat. See comments below. Thanks again to Kristina :)

Taco Maria Needs Your Love

Aharon | May 22, 2008 2:31 pm

You need a cat. Yes you do. Already have one? Does it have FIV? Great. Because I know a very special kitteh that needs a home and has FIV (NOT infectious to humans). Taco Maria is a great cat, a rescue from Hurricane Katrina. She needs to be quarantined from other cats so they don’t contract FIV from her.

Taco Maria Needs Your Love

Here’s the blurb from the adoption page at CAAWS, written in faux-first-person.

Mariah
Like so many others I too have Hurricane Katrina to thank for bringing me to Baton Rouge. I spent several stressful days at the LSU emergency shelter where I lost my litter of kittens due to sickness and stress. If that weren’t bad enough, I then found out that I am FIV positive. Like humans with HIV, cats with FIV can live many healthy years. So far I am totally symptom-free.

Because I am contagious to other cats, however, I will have to be isolated from other cats for the rest of my life. But that’s enough bad news. Let’s talk about the good news: I am young, healthy, up-to-date on vaccines, spayed, and friendly. I have not slowed down for a second to complain. I love playing and chatting with people so much that I don’t miss other cats one bit. The best news, though, is that you are still reading my profile and considering taking me home — and that’s about the only news that will turn this year around for me. To learn more about me or schedule a visit, email: caawsmail@yahoo.com